I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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