I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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