Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
