i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize