I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
