With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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