pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
