Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Randomize
