Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
