I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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