I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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