Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
