What a fucking waste of an outfit
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
