just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize