Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
