I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
