Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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