fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
MIDGETS
????
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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