My nipple is on Facebook.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
