Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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