I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
