That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
