my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
