when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Couch. On fire.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
