im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
