the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
