if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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