U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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