So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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