he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
