Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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