I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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