my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
