my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
