and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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