She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
