Please, let me fuck your mom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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