half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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