We won't sleep together?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
