Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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