I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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