I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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