Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
