Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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