She's JV to your varsity
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Help. Why am I so naked?
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