Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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