So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
