well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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