If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
