Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
