member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
