Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
