____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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