Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
