just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
