Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
