Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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