you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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